So, this is well and truly the longest I've been officially single since I was 18, no joke. Officially broken up in July though some months for that to be finalised (in fact still going with the lawyers, will it ever end?!). Tried to go onto an online dating site, even dated someone for a month or so and flirted with others in emails/texts, but nothing. Now removed myself from the dating site thinking I mustn't be ready, it just didn't feel right. But a thought has occurred to me recently....am I in a relationship with alcohol?
Ok, that sounds a bit crazy (and possibly you're crediting that to the alcohol in my system right now but I swear this occurred to me sober!) but think about it. Alcohol is my comfort, when I am sad, angry, emotional in some way it helps me deal with it. Alcohol keeps me company - when I am bored or even before I am but am wondering what I might do of an evening or on the weekend, I'll drink for something to do. Alcohol is given pretty much the highest priority in my life, I think about drinking often, about when I will drink next, and I illogically (is that a word?!) often choose alcohol over many more healthy things in my life. I spend more time with alcohol than anyone else in my life, most of my evenings and my weekends. Replace the word 'alcohol' with a man's name and you could easily think I was talking about a special someone.
And right now, this is an exclusive relationship. I can't properly be with anyone else while I drink as I do now. How would I explain the late nights, the lack of money, the drunken texting/facebooking, the need to drink overpowering any desire to be with someone else?
So I guess I can say, I need to break up with alcohol. You know, I've never been good with breakups. At least I don't need to worry about hurting it's feelings...
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